Source | LinkedIn : By Shubhrata Prakash
“Labeling and depression, as you can see, fuel each other to create a vicious cycle. The best way to break out of this negativity-filled cycle is to tell yourself, ‘I am not my depression’.”
– Shubhrata Prakash
Image Source: pixabay.com
The victim keeps asking herself and others, ‘Why me?’ – a question no one can answer but one’s Maker, if you believe in one. This way your already wounded mind keeps festering, and this unanswered question feeds the rot. ‘Why me?’ is an extension of the victim mode – the self-pity mode. Self-pity is second nature to human beings. Whenever something goes wrong in our lives, we think, ‘Why me? What have I done to deserve this in life? I’ve never harmed anybody. I haven’t even thought ill of anybody. Still, all this is happening to me!’ The rationale behind this line of thinking has its roots in the moral science lessons we were taught every morning in our schooldays, and even later in life. Whatever our religion, we are taught to believe that if we don’t do anything wrong, no harm will come to us. This has been repeated over and over again, in fact, over a course of millennia, so that it has become a part of our collective unconscious. And so, when we do come to some harm, we automatically think, ‘Why me?’ Well, there is no answer to this, just as there are no answers to so many questions in the universe.
Does this mean we should stop believing in doing good and being good? No. Our moral science lessons were not wrong. By harming others, we carry that harm in our own conscience, and the last thing stressed-out human beings on this earth need is the weight of a guilty conscience in addition to the weight of their other concerns. Maybe your suffering is your karma. Maybe it is on account of a deed from a past life. Maybe it is just fate, destiny. But just stop and think for a moment: does it matter why it happened to you? Does it make the severity of your illness any less, or does it make recovery any easier? Does knowing that you caught a viral infection from your school-going child make the fever and chills go away? No. The illness has to run its course, and you have to take proper treatment for it. Questions like ‘why me?’ only add to your disability and make you feel even more depressed. They are like a secondary infection – a secondary depression that is enervating. And, of all times, now is the time you don’t need anything to get you down any further. You are down enough. What you need are empowering statements like ‘So what if it is me?’ Positive and affirmative statements like ‘I have depression but I can fight it.’ Keep repeating this to yourself: ‘I will get better.’ Repeat it all day long if required. Do whatever you must to keep self-pity out. Pity begets pity, and strength, greater strength.