Source |Linkedin.com | BY:Divya M , Founder @ divyas happiness Hive
As a child, I was shy and introvert but was popular because of my high grades which I managed without studying too hard, essentially born smart! (Really!?) 😛
When I was a 15 year old- in my class 10, I started to have sleepless nights, yes I was MENTALLY SICK, was depressed. Later I got a diagnosis of Panic Disorder and OCD as well, I freaked out.
Inspite of it, managed a 93%. But without help, I didn’t recover, so, it was only a 75% I could manage in my P.U. My childhood dream of becoming a MBBS doctor was shattered! Was it painful- don’t ask!
There are too many shades and layers – because a life with such debilitating and incapacitating illness is anything but easy! What’s more challenging then dealing with demons in your mind day in and day out, is the expectations your family and society has from you, the indifference, lack of support; although you get sympathy at times but not empathy, because of the lack of basic awareness about MENTAL HEALTH. I was judged, hated and misunderstood. The taboo is hard to bear. Yes, I fought with it all because it was never about proving anything to anyone but ME to MYSELF. I unearthed all my strengths, potentials and became aware of my weaknesses too, which get defeated the moment you are aware of it. Most importantly I HEALED my SELF.
An unwavering patience, relentless belief, determination, persistence, tremendous confidence (keeping it intact inspite of all the hurdles was itself a major battle won) and RIGHT attitude is what helped me make the seemingly impossible- POSSIBLE and life is a continuous process of learning, improving and becoming a better version of ‘OURSELF’.
The best part was, I had made up my mind, that I would go on to be someone of value to all those who suffer, no matter because of what- the reason I chose to study Psychology for my Bachelor’s against what the elders wanted me to. I was told- I would never make enough money and I had the audacity to say JOB SATISFACTION was my priority.
In the past 9 years, since my post graduation in Psychology with a Gold Medal, I have never had a stable job; because the purpose for why I chose to study Psychology wasn’t met! Although finding a job wasn’t difficult because of my good academic records, a naive Psychologist isn’t treated with dignity and also a multitude of other challenges which I won’t address here. So, all these years, I have done a lot of free consultations, I never made a lot of money. But there came a point in time when I realized, people at the receiving end weren’t as passionate as I am. They don’t even bother to get back, once they have it all sorted. If not otherwise also, the confrontation they have made, may be too much for them to handle. And, most importantly something you get for free, loses its value and significance: that’s how it is for most people as to what I have observed.