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Marshall Goldsmith on How to be Happy and Let Go of Guilt

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The Happiness Paradox (excerpt) by Marshall Goldsmith

Positive spirit that starts inside and radiates outside focuses on two ingredients: happiness and meaning.

Yet, as much as we all claim to want happiness and meaning in our lives, there’s a paradoxical catch that thwarts us at every turn. I want you to burn it into your memory:

Our default response in life is not to experience happiness.

Our default response in life is not to experience meaning.

Our default response in life is to experience inertia.

In other words, our everyday process — the thing we do more often than anything else — is to continue to do what we’re already doing.

If you’ve ever come to the end of a TV show and then passively continued watching the next show on the same channel, you know the power of inertia. You only have to press a button on the remote to change the channel. Yet many of us can’t do that. Often, inertia is so powerful that we can’t even hit the remote to turn off the TV, even when we no longer want to watch it.

Understanding the principle of inertia is why I can say with absolute certainty that the most reliable predictor of what you will be doing in five minutes is what you are doing now. Take a moment to let that sink in, and weigh that statement against your life. I’m not saying inertia is a foolproof predictor — we obviously switch from one activity to another — but it is a reliable short-term predictor.

Once you appreciate the paradox, you become aware of its paralyzing effect on every aspect of your life, not just the mindless routines of eating or watching TV, but things that really matter — such as the level of happiness and meaning in your life — and you become more thoughtful about turning things around. Breaking the cycle of inertia doesn’t mean exerting heroic willpower. All that’s required is the use of a simple discipline.

Dr. Marshall Goldsmith is a world authority in helping successful leaders get even better — by achieving positive, lasting change in behavior: for themselves, their people and their teams.

MOJO was released in February 2010. It is a New York Times and Wall Street Journal top ten best-seller — and the Shanghai Daily #1 business book in China. It is already scheduled to be translated into 14 languages.

In November 2009 Dr. Goldsmith was recognized as one of the fifteen most influential business thinkers in the world in the bi-annual study sponsored by The (London) Times and Forbes. The American Management Association named Marshall as one of 50 great thinkers and leaders who have influenced the field of management over the past 80 years. He is one of only two educators who have won the Institute of Management Studies Lifetime Achievement Award. Major business press acknowledgments include: BusinessWeek — most influential practitioners in the history of leadership development, Wall Street Journal – top ten executive educators, Forbes — five most-respected executive coaches, Leadership Excellence — top five thinkers on leadership, Economic Times (India) — top CEO coaches of America, Economist (UK) — most credible executive advisors in the new era of business and Fast Company – America’s preeminent executive coach.

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