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I Should Never Have Told My Boss About My Dreams

Source | Forbes : By Liz Ryan

Dear Liz,

I feel very upset and frustrated about my work situation. I took a new job almost two years ago and the ‘honeymoon’ lasted a year. The first year on the job was incredible. This past year has been terrible.

When I started the job, I told my husband every day when I came home “This is the job I was looking for!”

I run an internal publications department. The team is great.

My boss is a visionary. She manages six other departments apart from mine. She is a big muckety-muck as they say. She controls a huge part of the organization.

She and I developed a good rapport. My boss gave me a lot of latitude during my first year on the job. For my one-year review she took me out to dinner.

We talked about everything at that dinner. We talked about her career plans, my career plans and our families. It was a very warm and collegial meeting. My boss said she was thrilled to have hired me and was very glad to have me on her team.

Fast forward six months. Now my own performance goals and my team’s goals have been ratcheted up so high that I honestly don’t think anyone in my position could reach them. I’ve had countless meetings with my boss about the problem.

Her basic stance is “Too bad — if you don’t  like the job, I’ll find someone else.” She gives lip service to my suggestions for improving our processes but she won’t agree to anything specific. Is she trying to get rid of me? My morale is in the tank.

My manager and I had a heated discussion last week. I’m not sorry we brought our simmering conflict to a head.

I said “I’m trying to reconcile what is going on now, with so much criticism from you and so little support, with our wonderful  dinner at my one-year review, when you told me you were thrilled that you hired  me.”

I guess she was surprised that I remembered her saying that. She said “I’m not sure I said ‘thrilled.’”

I said “That is good to know and something worth talking about, because if you are not thrilled that I’m here, why am I here? I want to thrill my boss and be thrilled by my job, as well. I assume you want your managers to thrill you, and if I’m not doing that, we should get it out on the table.”

My manager said “I don’t know if you really care  about thrilling your boss, do you? You told me at dinner that eventually you want to have your own company — so why should I invest in you?”

I had forgotten that I had told my manager at our pleasant dinner that one day I want to be an entrepreneur.

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