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Laura Heck: Relationships 101: “The Science of Great Relationships” | Talks at Google


Laura Heck, licensed marriage and family therapist, presents Dr. John Gottman’s Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. This talk outlines the Seven Principles that every couple should adopt in order to have a harmonious and long lasting relationship. Laura has been personally trained by Dr. John Gottman, and is co-developer and Master Trainer for The Gottman Seven Principles Program.


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  1. Question for Laura, if there's any way of raising my virtual hand: Any suggestions if your partner asks for a LOT of "bids"? For anyone who didn't watch the full video but might have an opinion, a "bid" as Laura described it is like a request for connection. For example, "Wow it's sunny today hm!?" or "I'm going to put this plant over here" (basically anything that is ok to say "Mm hmm" or "Ok" to i.e. your partner is simply looking for an emotional acknowledgement). Laura or anyone else have thoughts on what to do if your partner is the type of person who needs a LOT of those?

  2. Liked the question about the date of study, would defo be interesting to see what the main problems or strengths between gen X / Millennials couples leading to divorce are.

  3. This is great stuff, I went ahead and bought the book. Laura Heck presents excellent.
    Just one thing I noticed, had to rewind a couple of times… Did she cover Principle 5 ?
    She went from Principle 4 – Let Your Partner Influence You, to the four steps and then Principle 6.

  4. I loved most of the talk –

    But when the husband asks:

    Why are you always manipulating me into trying to stay in during Monday nights(when she knows he's going to hang out with the guys)

    He's raising an important issue that needs to be addressed.

    It could very well be that the wife has a serious passive aggressive problem.

    She constantly tries to undermine his expressed desire to spend a weekly meeting with his friends + she's saying that he is turning against her which transfers the responsibility for her aggression unto him.

    So offering to make him dinner is not a sweet and innocent thing to do under those circumstances.

  5. As I listen to her presentation I am thinking that a lot of supervisors could use this as a way to communicate with their co-workers, actually I wish they would.

  6. another "relationship expert"…yea go ahead fellas, send a check an "appreciation message" everyday for 365 days and see what happens, she'll definitely won't appreciate that i'll tell you that. She's dump you faster than donald trump dodging that tax, cause she'll think you're a needy annoying bitch.

  7. Marriage was working when women didnt easily have a chance to support herself and divorce was a disgrace. Take out those two variables then there is no reason for two human beings to sacrifice their emotion to maintain a marriage. And for good reason, why would they? I think Americans should just embrace the modern lifestyle which is co-parenting. Simply have a casual co-parenting relationship with your partner and stop mystifying marriage so much. This all "true love" bullshit needs to stop now.

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