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To be Effective , you don’t need to be Aggressive ; being Assertive is enough


Like Delegation /Abdication , another pair of words we confuse interchangeably is : Aggressiveness & Assertiveness …. They are not the same .

o  Aggression is more to do more with the person , Assertion is exhibited more in the matter

o  Aggressiveness is more constitutional … a personal trait , Assertiveness is more in practice & can be acquired

o  Loss of discretion is mostly concurrent with display of aggression , whereas assertion is a more conscious practice

o  Since it is an impulsive act , chances of regret is higher in case of aggression , not as much so with being assertive . In a rather loose manner I can say that Assertion mixed with emotion / passion becomes Aggression .

Like any other emotion , exercise of aggression by choice / with awareness can be very effective ; it is when we lose our awareness ( which is mostly the case )in exercising emotion is when we often make a mistake . Emotion is like a horse …. Whether the animal works for us or takes us into the wilderness , depends on whether we are riding the horse or vice versa .

o  Idea here is not to attach a prescriptive label of Good / Bad to either of these two words ; it is just that we need to be well aware of what is what & when , how it will work for us

It is my experiential assertion that contrary to popular misconception ; to be effective , you don’t need to be aggressive , just being assertive will help .

There is nothing bad or wrong about being aggressive in nature ; one just needs to be conscious that it is a part of you and how / when to use as a resource to his / her advantage .

o  More importantly if you are not naturally aggressive , putting up artificially doesn’t work … like a good fashion , it works only when you know how to carry it off . You are at your best , only when you play yourself , not as someone else you are not .

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